the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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