i just google imaged poop.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
