maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
