I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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