I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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