Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
