her vagine was all disorganized.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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