Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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