Is it normal to miss your booty call?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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