she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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