I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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