I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
