Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
