Hey man sorry I got all grabby
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
