Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
This house was built for laser tag.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
