ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
