Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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