R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
