The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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