Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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