He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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