THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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