508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize