So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
