and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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