If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
