i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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