Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Randomize
