we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize