When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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