We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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