i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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