Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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