I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
