Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
