Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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