You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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