found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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