the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
