Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize