I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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