so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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