Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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