Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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