My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
