I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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