that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
