he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
