OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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