i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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