I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
