That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
