addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
