dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
