If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
