are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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