i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
