it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize