I only kidnapped one of them. chill
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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