Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize