there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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