I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
