She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize