her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
