I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
